Thursday, December 18, 2008

Is it possible to find some sort of peace?

I'm having a very hard time with my anger and bitterness over this layoff situation. The more I learn about how things went down, the angrier I get. What makes it worse for me is that some of my "friends" from my job...people who I was very close with and did things with outside of the office...haven't shown any interest in maintaining our friendships.

I am sad and angry that a major life "thing" Hubs and I were working on now has to stop because of my job loss. A thing that wasn't coming easily on it's own as it was, but now it can't even be a consideration. It hurts when I see this particular thing come so easily to other people.

I read on blogs where people have something wonderful happen and they say "it was God's timing." The Christian in me believes that's true, but the human in me is screaming "was it God's timing for me to be put in this bad situation?" It's funny how people say "it was God's timing" only when something good has happened to them.

Praying and reading the Bible isn't helping me at all. It makes me very sad to say that, and in my heart I know God is here with me. But I'm being honest here. Every night I pray (in addition to my "regular" prayers), that not only that I can find something well suited to me, but that my friends who were put in the same position can find something as well. I also pray that I can have patience while waiting for this, and that I can have peace with what was dealt to me and let go of the anger.

It's not working.

I feel angry, sad, hurt and lost. I feel like I don't have a purpose. I'm frustrated.

I try to read my favorite scriptures.

It's not helping.

What can I do?



Sandy Toes said...

I understand your hurt and frustration! It's a healing process and will just take time to let this all sort out! But, you are important you have a role and "life" outside have to find a way to see that..but it takes time!

That is crazy that those "friends" do not talk anymore. Is this highschool? That is hurtful!

I will pray for you today!
-sandy toes

Pleasant Drive said...

Life can be brutal, can't it? I know that at times, the whole "God's timing" thing seems trite and canned. But, I can assure you that I have seen the true joy in God's timing in the last year, even in our trials, and we've had some major ones. I now what it truly means to yearn for eternity with my God. Hang in there, for His ways are higher than ours.

Ally0005 said...

Oh my I so UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING and I mean everything you said. I felt like you do and still do at times. I feel your pain so much.
We got God will provide he will meet your needs, well you know what the job DH had to take is $33,000 less than what he was making and the insurance in $850.00 out of pocket a month, crazy. I'm sorry but this does not meet our needs. We were not looking for DH to make the same amount he was and knew DH would have to take less but my goodness we had no idea it would be this less. We can't sell our house because nothing is selling here and we would lose money on it. Then where would we go, yes, I feel stuck. Just today we both questioned God again. I got sick of hearing have faith. Everything people would say to us never happened. You have your right to be angry, sad, hurt and lost and frustrated.
What helps me most of the time is to VENT. I have a neighbor that her DH was somewhat in the same situation and we would meet at the playground with our kids and talk and talk.
Then I found some people blogging that were going through the same thing.
So talk to me girl. Say whatever you want I will listen. Because no one really understands unless they have walked in your shoes.
My email is

Shannon said...

I understand so much where you are coming from! You are doing the right thing by continuing to read the Bible and pray. Even when we do not hear from God immediately it does not mean He is not working. I feel like He is being so silent on an issue in my life right now but I know He is working and I just need to continue to seek Him. When my husband lost his job unexpectantly is was done in such a way that was so hurtful and probably illegal. I was SOOO angry that it was all I could think about! (They even lied as to why he was let go so he couldn't get unemployment.) I know exactly where you are coming from. Sometimes it is so consuming. Just keep talking it out and seeking Him. His ways are not our ways, they are so much better!

Shannon said...

PS I am praying for you!

ALVN of WhisperWood Cottage said...

While agree that "things happen for a reason", I also believe that "life is not about finding yourself, it is about creating yourself." Maybe God is not asking you to wait, maybe He is providing you the opportunity to go in a new direction and to proactively seek out that new direction. What do you want to happen? Who do you want to be? What do you want your life to be like? Visualize it. Seek it out. Move toward it in small increments each day. Choosing to seek out God is certainly part of it. You will get through this!

Sharon said...

aawwww, I am so sorry you are going through this. It is impossible to see what God has in store for us when we are in the midst of our trials, and to even think about his timing doesn't *get it* when we are hurting. I agree continue in the Word, and continue to pray, God is good even when we don't see it at this moment.

Our Complete Family said...

I wish I had words that I felt would help you and make you feel better, but I don't think I do.
This is one of those time I wish we all lived in the same city so I could take you for a pedi, coffee or tea, just girl time to visit and fill the role the folks at your workplace have abandoned.
I am so sorry hun.
Know you've got a lot of folks rooting for you!!!
xo, Hugs & Prayers, Les

p.s. And yep~ the dishes in the hutch are Polish pottery. Hubby, Bryce & I drove to Poland (when we lived in Germany) to purchase most of the pieces. Those are some crazy stories I can blog about one day!!! ;)

Susancnw said...

Been there, done that. Just found your blog tonight and I can so sympathize with you. Long story short...lost job in NC 6 yrs ago that had been God-sent...and there were some issues. Since they had moved us from Houston, we moved to CO. Hubby's still building a cabinetry business, slowdown in economy has hurt. I have taken a $15K yr paycut, add benefits I have taken a $40K/yr cut.Found a job working for an atty I really liked in an area of law I could deal with. Thanks to office politics, lost that job after 3 years. It took me 3 yrs to find another job. I've taken another paycut, but I have benefits & so does my family. It's slow going and I get so resentful & tired of it all...but I know God has a plan...eventually we'll know what it is ;D

Now, when you get 'antsy', register with every temporary agency you can find. Maybe you'll find work in copywriting, maybe not. In the DFW area you can probably stay busy. Make sure that it is more take home than your unemployment is. In this economy, don't worry about in your field...just make the 5 weekly contacts.

Good luck and I'll pray for you.


AJ said...

Hey girlfriend! I'm giving you a ♥cyber hug♥ I wanted to email you but you don't have it on your profile. I'd like to talk to you if you are up for it:) AJ7125 @ wide open Obviously there's no spaces. I've been thinking about ya! Hang in there:)

Melissa Wertz said...

{{{{Hugs}}}} Have you read any books or devotion books by Stormie O'Martin? There are different ones. You might want to pick up a woman's devotion. God has spoken to me thru her books and devotions. You need to heal, forgive so that you will be ready for what He wants you to do next.

It is Ok to be angry, sad, lost. Read Psalms. David was like that most of the time! Some of it was brought on by himself, but a lot was not. He was God's anointed and Saul wanted him dead. That can be pretty distressing.

God is good. He has promised to never leave us or forsake us. Or give us more than we can handle.

I will be keeping you in my prayers.

Shannon said...

Hey, yes I think we are talking about the same thing! :) 27 months, multiple proceedures later, still waiting. I don't think you should wait until you find a job. Keep on keeping on and God might surprise you! :) He will always provide.

Buzzings of a Queen Bee! said...

I can't tell you what to do, but I can sympathize. I am sorry you are having to go through this, and the way your work "friends" are handling it is very disappointing. I also is God's timing whether it is good news or bad news, but the good news always seems to win out. I DO believe it is God's timing either way, but I don't mean that in a fakey, sunshine-and-rainbows way. Keep us updated and don't ever feel bad about being real about your feelings...what else can you do?

Candy Allen said...

I hate to see how much hurt and anger you are feeling right now and can only imagine what you're going through. My only thought about your former coworkers not maintaining a relationship with you is they possibly feel uncomfortable since they still have their job and you no longer do. They may not know what to say. Similar to how people pull away from the family members of those that pass...not saying it's right, but it's something that can happen. If you want to continue your friendships, why not reach out to show them you'll get through this. THAT, my friend, I know you will do. :) I'll be thinking of you.

Joanna said...

I understand exactly what you are saying and some! I have felt that way many many times. Seeing others and great things happen to them while we sit back and another bad thing happens to us and our family. I always ask God why? And what are they doing to deserve those things that apparently we aren't doing. It's so hard. God does have a plan. Who knows what it is. And it's so hard to just let go and let Him take control of our lives. I stopped praying long ago for "such and such" and started praying for whatever God's Will would be...Because when you pray for something and it doesn't happen you feel as though things aren't working. I wish you all the best this Christmas season....As for the friends...I have been there and done that! I quit a job where which I made some great friends...We only spoke a couple of other times and it's been 4 years now since I've last spoken to them...What great friends they turned out to be!

pcb said...

Quickly...get yourself a great little book: God's Will by Leslie D. Weatherhead. It's short but without a doubt the most profound thing I've read in my 56 years, as he made it clear that bad things are NEVER God's will. I wish I could hand you one (I order them by the dozen from Amazon and give them to people when God leads me to do so). Here's a tiny bit from it: "There are no circumstances which God allows that can finally defeat the ultimate purpose which he wills."

Miss(es) Canadian Pie said...

Your faith is being put through the fire. It's the processing of sifting and shaking what is true and real in your life. It's taking you to this place where you have to decide if your convictions and what you know is truth in your life is really something that you can stand on. You're learning how to hang on when everything in your life is being stripped away. At the end, where will you stand? And will you have hung on for dear life with your Saviour and allow him to carry your through? It's at points in life like this that we choose this day who we will serve. Remember those people in the Bible who's worlds were rocked - Joseph, David, Job (to name a few) and remember how they hung on to Him?It's the only thing that will carry you through. And remember to vent that frustration to God! Tell him exactly how you feel. Don't be afraid to lay it out there for him. He's not going to be scared or suprised. It's in this time that he is truly longing for you to come express every single thing that you are feeling. Let this time be a time where you search out new passages of scripture - not just the standby favorites - let this be a time of learning and exploration - even if it is birthed from a place of pain. You are a woman of purpose. A woman of power. A woman who has a destiny. Don't ever forget that. You are truly in my prayers friend. Don't be afraid to crumble. But let Him get you back up.

Hebrews 12:26-29 "At that time his voice shook the earth, but now he has promised, "Once more I will shake not only the earth but also the heavens." The words "once more" indicate the removing of what can be shaken—that is, created things—so that what cannot be shaken may remain. Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our "God is a consuming fire."

Sweet Simplicity said...

I am so sorry you are going through this. I can only imagine how frustrated you are. I have started keeping a prayer journal and when I go back through it to read what I have been praying about your name appears several time, but always as the undomesticated wife! I just crack up when I see it! Hey, I figure God knows who I am talking about. :)

Kaitlyn said...

Oh, I am so sorry that all of this is so very hard. I am of course praying for you. I know it is very hard to hear, but things will happen in God's time. Having faith seems so hard (I've been waiting for over a year to get married and it's nowhere in sight) but God's plan for your life is even bigger than your own. Keep living your life, and keep the same plans- on every"thing"- I'll keep praying :)

Valarie said...

Your friends at the office may not be trying to snub you. You read my blog, so you know the similarity in our situations, except I was one of the ones left behind. It makes me feel bad because I wasn't the one fired. Of the ones that were, I have them on my facebook and I would see them doing things, and it's hard to reach out. I feel bad because they were fired. If you guys were good friends, after a little bit, things will go back to normal. If not, maybe you weren't as great of friends after all.

Cali Girl said...

do you by any chance know ... if i take her to my vet to see if she has a chip in her.. will the vet contact the owners if she does or would they give me that info?

if she did have a chip, would he insist on keeping her or allow me to keep her until they were contacted?

what are your thoughts?


all the comments you received here are so nice... I think this is part of our journey through life...God allows us to experience the 'bumpy rides' so we continually seek Him... Human will not seek Him whem life is full of roses allthe time... There is a time for everything under the sun verse; I'm sure you'll fing the joy & peace back in your life! ~Blessings*

Jenni @ nest to keep said...

Oh, I am so sorry! I completely understand your feeling this way! I hope your friends will make more of an effort to keep up your friendships. (What's with that anyway?) But you know what? You DEFINITELY have a purpose, but I can relate to your feeling this way. I am definitely going to keep you in my prayers. Again, I am so sorry about all of this! :(